Month: March 2016

Batman & Superman’s High School Guidance Counsellor

Now, boys, I’ve heard rumours on the playground about some sort of high-octane super fight set to happen this month.

Does it matter who snitched? No, it wasn’t Robin. No, of course he’s not jealous about being left out of the DC Cinematic Universe!

(more…)

Advertisements

Actors/Actresses that Make You Laugh without Even Speaking: How Do They Do It?

There are certain film/television personalities out there that can be in literally anything and I’d still enjoy it. Why? Because they can make me laugh without even opening their glorious mouths.

I call it the ‘Martin Freeman Paradigm‘ and I give a talk on the phenomenon every Tuesday outside of the Museum (for about 5 minutes until I get kicked off the premises, then you can follow me to the local Londis for the conclusion).

So, how did these comedic individuals get to this stage of freakish immortality?

(more…)

5 Things About Sitcoms that Oddly Annoy Me

I love sitcoms. Their guaranteed laughs and minimal episode-to-episode plot development provide a consistency that is hard to beat.

However, because I’m a crazy person, there are a few things about them that oddly annoy me. Things that I find hard not to think about when watching them. Things that I will share with you now because, again, I’m a crazy person.

(more…)

What America’s Hottest TV Shows Have Taught Me

People will often tell you that television teaches nothing. To counter this point I cover my ears, scream “lalalala” and — generally speaking — by this stage they’ve already walked away in disgust. However, if they’re a persistent little so-and-so, I’d recommend a cry/scream/roll-around-on-the-floor tactic. 

Most of the time that’ll do the trick but I’ve decided to improve how I handle the situation in future instances by clutching at straws (very, very thin straws) to find some things that America’s biggest shows have taught me:

(more…)

An Open Letter to Hollywood

With various statements, questions and grievances I wished to get across to Hollywood, I decided to write them an open letter. Time passed without any response until my mail-person rudely informed me that open letters still need to be sealed if you wish for them to arrive in one piece (you can read more about this incident in my angrily written open letter to the Post Office).

Eventually, my letter did arrive in Tinseltown and they promptly issued me with a transatlantic restraining order. 

Here it is:

(more…)